If Wishes Were Horses

(I will ride till eternity)

I wanted to get rid of it like a waste whose smell stunk my whole world

I wanted to get out of the overwhelming wave by swimming back to the shore

I wanted to leave it all behind but never look back like lot’s wife. Unlike lot’s wife, I was intent on not looking back

I wanted to pull it off and throw it away like a cloth drenched in the blood of the dead

I wanted to bury it alive so it can eventually die inside the hole

I needed it to disappear like the ghosts in Nollywood movies and never reappears

I wanted every trace of it gone. I needed the rhythm to stop and the tape destroyed

I wanted to wash it away with every water that touched my skin

I wanted time to fade it away into oblivion

I wanted to purge my soul of it with every spit and air that came out of my mouth

I wanted life strangled out of it with every tear and heartache

I wanted the past gone

I wanted to walk away from it and wipe it off my memory.

I wanted to walk out of the minefield of memory where bombs of memories are buried and waiting to go off.

I wanted to walk out unscathed and leave it all behind; little did I know, that it is the bricks used to lay the foundation upon which my house (me) is built.

My past is me and to leave it all behind is to leave me behind and to leave me behind means there is no one to move forward.